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Verdict: A brave, genuinely different romance — a menopausal chef and an asexual mathematician in their fifties learning what intimacy can look like — that many readers found honest and moving, and just as many found repetitive, with a third act that sank it for them.
Best for: Readers who want frank menopause representation, an ace lead and a romance about acceptance, and who can tolerate a divisive late twist.
Heat level: 4/5 (romance.io: explicit open door, 6 ratings)
Rating: ★★★★☆ (3.5/5 — a 3.94 Goodreads average across 364 ratings, with 25% at three stars, 3.56 on StoryGraph from 82 reviews, and 4.6 stars across 213 Amazon ratings)
Tropes: Both leads 40+, menopause, asexual lead, grief, small coastal town, found family, dual POV, standalone in the BlissVerse.
This Is Who I Am is Harper Bliss’s 2025 contemporary lesbian romance, set in Clearwater Bay. Cass Little, 53, is a head chef and restaurant owner whose menopause has taken her libido and her last relationship. Estelle Raymond, 49, is a burnt-out mathematician back in town to grieve her father — and she is comfortably asexual.
It holds a 3.94 average across 364 Goodreads ratings, with 66% of them four or five stars, 3.56 on StoryGraph from 82 reviews, and 4.6 stars across 213 Amazon ratings.
What Is This Is Who I Am About?
Cass is used to control in the kitchen and has lost it everywhere else: menopause has changed her body and ended her relationship, and she has decided love has left the building too. Estelle has spent her life being told, one way or another, that she is not enough, and she is done bending for anyone.
They are drawn to each other immediately. Then they have to work out what a relationship looks like when one of them is asexual and the other is not sure who she is any more — surrounded by a group of friends going through menopause together.
What Works in This Later-in-Life Romance
- Menopause, honestly: Readers going through it say they feel seen; one praises Bliss for taking off the rose-tinted glasses.
- Something different: Even critics credit Bliss for trying a premise no one else is writing.
- Communication: One reader likens the leads to teenagers with adult communication skills — hesitant, fumbling, honest.
- Clearwater Bay: Returning characters from And Then She Kissed Me delight BlissVerse fans.
- Representation: 93% of StoryGraph readers called the cast diverse, with an aromantic side character as well.
Book Synopsis
Cass Little has built a life on food and control, and as head chef she expects perfection — from everything except her own changing body. She is convinced that love, like her libido, is gone for good.
Estelle Raymond has come home to Clearwater Bay to grieve her father and escape a lifetime of expectations. She is happy being asexual and wary of the way love so often asks her to be someone else. Something about Cass makes her want connection anyway — and something about Estelle makes Cass rethink what passion means.
My Review
For two-thirds of the book, this is Bliss at her most ambitious: two women in their fifties negotiating desire, grief and body image with more candour than the genre usually allows, and a supporting cast that makes menopause funny as well as hard. Readers who saw themselves in Cass or Estelle often rate it among Bliss’s best.
The problems are real, though. The most repeated criticism is repetition: the leads circle the same wounds so often that the story stalls. The second is the third act — a late complication several readers call an “ick” that cost them their investment, with one calling the ending horrific and others unable to feel good about the conclusion. And the ace representation, the book’s selling point, is contested by ace readers themselves: one asexual reviewer felt it centred the sexual relationship too heavily.
My honest note: Worth reading for the premise and the menopause representation; go in knowing the ending divides readers.
| Element | In This Is Who I Am |
|---|---|
| Central relationship | Cass Little (53, chef, menopausal) & Estelle Raymond (49, mathematician, asexual) |
| Core tropes | Both leads 40+, menopause, asexual lead, grief |
| Setting | Clearwater Bay, a small coastal town (California, per romance.io tags) |
| Heat level | 4/5 on romance.io — explicit open door (6 ratings) |
| Length | 277 pages; audiobook narrated by Abby Craden |
| Series | BlissVerse standalone — ending divides readers |
| Content notes | Body shaming, menopause and medical content, grief and death of a parent, terminal illness, pregnancy, abandonment |
How Spicy Is This Is Who I Am?
Romance.io rates it 4 of 5, “explicit open door,” though only from 6 ratings. Intimacy is central — Estelle is clear that she is happy to give but not receive — which is exactly why some ace readers felt uneasy and others found it thoughtful.
Content notes submitted on StoryGraph include body shaming, medical content, grief, terminal and chronic illness, death of a parent, pregnancy, abandonment and alcohol.
Who Should Read This Book?
You’ll likely love it if: you want an honest romance about menopause and asexuality between women in their fifties. It is on our mature lesbian romance and women over 40 lists.
You may want to skip it if: repetition frustrates you, or you need a clean, uncomplicated third act.
In short: Bold and important, uneven in execution.
What Readers Are Actually Saying (September 2026)
On Goodreads the split is 35% five stars, 31% four, 25% three, 4% two and 2% one. On StoryGraph, 80% tagged it emotional and 88% called it character-driven. Abby Craden’s audiobook narration is praised even by readers who disliked the book.
Why readers love it (according to the discourse): The menopause representation first. Second, the originality. Third, the side characters. Fourth, the honesty about intimacy.
What readers argue about and complain about: The third act, above everything. Second, repetitive writing. Third, whether the ace rep lands. Fourth, a slow start.
The comparison worth making first: For the book that introduces Clearwater Bay, read And Then She Kissed Me. For a lighter Harper Bliss romance with mature leads, try This Foreign Affair.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is the asexual representation in This Is Who I Am good?
It divides readers, including ace readers. Some praise it as honest and educational; one asexual reviewer felt the book was not written for ace readers because it puts so much emphasis on the sexual relationship, and another ace-spectrum reader found it repetitive.
How spicy is This Is Who I Am?
More than you might expect. Romance.io rates it 4 of 5, “explicit open door,” from just 6 ratings, and readers note that intimacy — on Estelle’s terms — is central to the story.
Do you need to read And Then She Kissed Me first?
No, it stands alone, but it shares the Clearwater Bay setting and several side characters, and some readers recommend reading it first.
Is This Is Who I Am on Kindle Unlimited?
Not at the time of writing — the Kindle edition was listed at $8.99. The audiobook is narrated by Abby Craden.
Why do some readers dislike the third act?
A late complication involving a character called Bijou. Several readers say it soured an otherwise strong book; we will not spoil the details.
If You Loved This Is Who I Am, Read These Next
Try And Then She Kissed Me for more Clearwater Bay, About That Kiss for more Harper Bliss, or This Foreign Affair for another romance between women near fifty. For more, browse our mature lesbian romance list or the full Book Reviews archive.
The Bottom Line
This Is Who I Am sets out to write a romance no one else is writing, and for much of its length it succeeds. What holds it back is repetition and a third act that alienates a real share of readers. Worth it for the premise, with eyes open. Check This Is Who I Am on Amazon →
The Eikna Overall Ranking
On the Eikna scale, This Is Who I Am ranks as a good but divisive mature romance — important themes, uneven execution.
The Evidence Scorecard
Overall ★★★★☆ 3.5/5
- ✓ 3.94 average across 364 Goodreads ratings
- ✓ 25% of Goodreads ratings are three stars
- ✓ 3.56 on StoryGraph from 82 reviews
- ✓ 4.6 stars across 213 Amazon ratings
Romance ★★★☆☆ 3.3/5
- ✓ Hesitant and honest
- ✓ Great communication early
- ✓ Third act divisive
- ✓ Ending sours some
Characters ★★★★☆ 3.7/5
- ✓ Leads 49 and 53
- ✓ 82% found them loveable
- ✓ Cass frustrating for some
- ✓ Strong side cast
Writing ★★★☆☆ 3.2/5
- ✓ Candid about menopause
- ✓ Repetitive
- ✓ Stagnant middle for some
- ✓ Dual POV
Emotional Impact ★★★★☆ 3.8/5
- ✓ Tagged emotional by 80%
- ✓ Readers feel seen
- ✓ Grief thread
- ✓ Annoyance for others
Heat Level ★★★★☆ 3.5/5
- ✓ Romance.io 4/5, explicit open door
- ✓ Only 6 heat ratings
- ✓ Intimacy on ace terms
- ✓ Uneasy for some ace readers
Ending ★★★☆☆ 2.9/5
- ✓ Divides readers
- ✓ Called horrific by one
- ✓ Bijou subplot disliked
- ✓ Satisfying for fans
Re-read Value ★★★☆☆ 3.2/5
- ✓ Praised audiobook
- ✓ Not on Kindle Unlimited
- ✓ $8.99 Kindle price
- ✓ Not a reread for some
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