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Verdict: A soft, funny and emotionally generous romance between a high school basketball coach who has never dated and the former WNBA player she idolised as a teenager — one of the best books around about figuring out your sexuality as an adult, if you can live with a slower pace and a crowded supporting cast.
Best for: Readers who want ace-spectrum or questioning representation, a dating-lessons setup, women’s basketball without needing to love sport, and a romance that takes mental health seriously.
Heat level: ★★★☆☆ (3/5 — open door, per romance.io)
Rating: ★★★★☆ (4.2/5 — a 4.08 Goodreads average across 5,971 ratings, and 4.15 across 3,241 StoryGraph reviews)
Tropes: Dating lessons, meeting your idol, coworkers, sports, questioning late bloomer, ace-spectrum lead, foster parent, found family, dual POV, series finale that stands alone.
How You Get the Girl is Anita Kelly’s 2024 contemporary lesbian romance from Forever, and the third and final book in their Nashville Love series. Julie Parker coaches girls’ basketball at a Tennessee high school on top of an office job she does not love. When smart-mouthed Vanessa Lerner joins the team, Vanessa’s new foster parent turns out to be Elle Cochrane, a former University of Tennessee star whose short WNBA career ended in injury — and whose poster Julie once had on her wall.
It holds a 4.08 average across 5,971 Goodreads ratings, with 77% of them four or five stars. That is a little below the series’ reputation, and the reviews explain why: this is a quieter, more interior book than its predecessors, and readers who loved it tend to love it very personally.
What Is How You Get the Girl About?
Kelly calls it more “sports-adjacent” than a full sports romance, and that is fair. Basketball provides the setting — practices, games, a team finding its feet — but the book is really about two women who feel stuck. Julie thinks she is years behind everyone around her: she has never been in a relationship and is not sure she even wants one. Elle has been out of basketball for years, is suddenly caring for her cousin’s teenage daughter after Vanessa’s mother goes into rehab, and is managing depression and migraines.
Julie talks Elle into becoming her assistant coach. Then, when Julie admits she wishes dating were like sport, something you could practise first, Elle offers to help her practise. Readers call it a dating-lessons or practice-dating setup, and it becomes the engine of a slow, careful romance.
What Makes This Sapphic Sports Romance Work
- Questioning representation: The most praised element. Julie is working out where she sits on the asexual spectrum, and many ace and questioning readers said they had never felt so seen by a romance. The book never forces her into a label.
- Care and communication: Reviewers repeatedly praise how kindly Julie and Elle treat each other and how openly they talk, including about sex, consent and uncertainty.
- Elle and Vanessa: The foster-parent storyline, with a foul-mouthed, angry teenager doing her best, is a highlight for many readers, and one of the book’s most emotional threads.
- Meeting your idol: Julie’s starstruck awkwardness around the woman she worshipped as a teenager gives the book much of its humour, and readers love watching the idol become a real person.
- Warmth: StoryGraph readers tag it emotional at 76% and funny, hopeful and lighthearted at nearly the same rate, and 95% call the characters loveable.
Book Synopsis
When smart-mouthed Vanessa Lerner joins the high school basketball team Julie Parker coaches, Julie is ready for the challenge. What she is not ready for is Vanessa’s new foster parent, Elle Cochrane — a former University of Tennessee basketball star. Starstruck at first, Julie soon persuades Elle to take the unfilled assistant coach position for the year.
Elle has stayed away from basketball since an injury ended her short WNBA career, but the job might bring her closer to Vanessa, and to Julie, who makes her laugh. As the two coaches grow closer, Elle cannot understand how Julie is single. When Julie admits a lifelong insecurity about dating, and says she wishes it were more like sport, where you get to practise first, it gives Elle an idea.
Elle may doubt herself as a coach, but helping Julie figure out dating is something she can do. As the season goes on and the lines between practice and reality blur, Julie and Elle have to decide whether to get in the game or stay on the sidelines.
My Review
The heart of this book is Julie’s uncertainty, and Kelly handles it with real tenderness. Julie has never dated, is not sure she feels attraction the way other people do, and is embarrassed about both. The book lets her stay unsure: demisexual comes up, but the message is that she does not owe anyone a label. For readers on the ace spectrum or late to understanding themselves, that is the reason to read it, and the number of reviews saying “I felt so seen” is striking.
Elle is the other half of that balance. She is dealing with the end of a career, depression, migraines and sudden responsibility for a teenager, and the book does not offer easy cures. Her relationship with Vanessa is messy, loving and angry in turns, and several readers found it the most moving part of the story. Between Julie and Elle, the romance is built on patience: Elle accepts Julie’s inexperience without pressure, and Julie gives Elle back a lightness she had lost.
The criticism is consistent and worth taking seriously. The pacing is slow, especially early — 71% of StoryGraph readers call it medium-paced, but a number of reviewers struggled to stay invested in the first half. The supporting cast is large, and readers new to the series found the returning characters from the earlier books hard to track; one who loved the previous two books felt Julie and Elle became side characters in their own story. A minority did not feel the chemistry at all, reading it as a celebrity crush rather than a lasting match, and at least one reader found Julie sad and Elle dramatic rather than endearing.
The basketball itself is handled with a nice realism. Julie and Elle were very good players, but neither was the best, and both are past their prime — one reader loved that the book treats this as perfectly fine. Elle’s slow return to the game she walked away from is one of the quieter pleasures here, and Autostraddle’s reviewer felt it was earned rather than forced. You do not need to care about basketball to follow it; two readers who do not said so outright.
Reset one expectation. The cover and title suggest a bouncy sports rom-com. It has jokes, a cat called Snoozles and plenty of basketball, but it is also a book about depression, addiction in the family and feeling behind in life. Readers who expected pure fun were the ones most often disappointed.
My honest note: If Julie’s questions are your questions, this may be the most affirming romance you read this year. If you want fast pacing and big banter, start with the earlier Nashville Love books instead.
| Element | In How You Get the Girl |
|---|---|
| Central relationship | Julie Parker & Elle Cochrane — high school basketball coach and former WNBA player turned assistant coach |
| Core tropes | Dating lessons, meeting your idol, coworkers, questioning late bloomer, foster parent, found family |
| Setting | A high school girls’ basketball team in Tennessee |
| Heat level | 3/5 — open door, per romance.io |
| Series | Nashville Love #3 — reads as a standalone, happy resolution |
| Content notes | Depression, migraines and chronic illness, foster care, a parent’s addiction and neglect, sports injury, sexual content |
How Spicy Is How You Get the Girl?
A 3/5. romance.io rates How You Get the Girl 3 of 5 and labels it open door. Because Julie is inexperienced and the romance is slow, the sex scenes arrive late and are few, but readers who mention them describe them as hot: Autostraddle said to come for the basketball and “stay for the spicy scenes”, adding that “consent and care are really sexy”. One reader summed it up as sparing but hot. If you prefer to skip on-page sex, at least one reviewer did exactly that and still enjoyed the book.
The content worth knowing in advance is mostly about mental and physical health. StoryGraph readers most often flag mental illness, followed by addiction, abandonment and chronic illness, and Kelly’s own content note lists migraines, foster care, depression, an ACL tear, and addiction and neglect in the family.
Who Should Read This Book?
You’ll likely love it if: you are ace-spectrum or questioning and want to see yourself in a romance, you like slow, tender romances with open communication, you enjoy found family and a big queer cast, or you love women’s basketball. It is on our sapphic sports romance and cozy lesbian romance lists.
You may want to skip it if: you need fast pacing, you dislike large casts and series cameos, you want heavy banter, or depression and family addiction are hard subjects for you right now.
In short: A gentle, affirming romance that means the world to the readers it was written for.
What Readers Are Actually Saying (September 2026)
This is a traditionally published book with a big readership — nearly 6,000 Goodreads ratings and 581 on Amazon, where it averages 4.4 stars — and a web search surfaced no Reddit threads worth citing. Much of the early response came from NetGalley advance readers and from fans of Kelly’s previous books, and the Taylor Swift reference in the title did not hurt. On StoryGraph, 82% of readers say the cast is diverse and 64% call it character-driven. It was not in Kindle Unlimited when I checked. The Hachette audiobook is narrated by Lindsey Dorcus and Gail Shalan and runs 11 hours and 27 minutes.
Prefer audio? Listen to How You Get the Girl on Libro.fm — the audiobook shop that supports independent bookstores.
Why readers love it (according to the discourse): Representation first — “never felt so seen” appears again and again from ace, demi and questioning readers. Second, the kindness and communication between the leads. Third, the foster-parent story with Vanessa. Fourth, the idol-crush setup and the humour it brings. At least one longtime fan called it her new favourite Anita Kelly.
What readers argue about and complain about: Pacing, above everything, especially the slow first half. Second: the size of the cast and the number of characters carried over from earlier books. Third, a minority view that the romance lacked chemistry or banter. And a genuine split on the series itself: some readers liked it more than the first two books, others felt it was the weakest of the three.
The series question worth asking first: How You Get the Girl is a complete romance with a happy resolution, and you can start here. But it closes out a series whose characters appear throughout, and readers who came in cold felt it; if you have time, Love & Other Disasters first will make the cameos land.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do you need to read the Nashville Love series first?
No. How You Get the Girl is the third Nashville Love book, after Love & Other Disasters and Something Wild & Wonderful, and it works as a standalone with a new couple. Characters from the earlier books appear often, especially London and Ben, Julie’s closest friends, and some readers felt those cameos crowded the story.
How spicy is How You Get the Girl?
A 3/5. romance.io rates it 3 of 5 and labels it open door. The sex scenes come late and are few, but readers describe them as hot, and Autostraddle singled out how much consent and care go into them.
Is Julie asexual in How You Get the Girl?
Julie is questioning where she sits on the asexual spectrum. Demisexual is the label reviewers most often mention, but the book deliberately leaves it open, and many readers praised it for saying she does not need a label at all.
Does How You Get the Girl have a happy ending?
Yes. Julie and Elle end up together, and readers describe a satisfying close to the series. None of the reviews I found specifies whether it is a full HEA or a happy-for-now.
Is there an audiobook of How You Get the Girl?
Yes. Lindsey Dorcus and Gail Shalan narrate the Hachette Audio edition, released in February 2024 and running 11 hours and 27 minutes.
If You Loved How You Get the Girl, Read These Next
For another sapphic basketball romance, try Hoops & Heartstrings. Alison Cochrun, who blurbed this book, wrote Kiss Her Once for Me, another romance with a demisexual lead. And if it was the athlete setting you liked, our list of books like Cleat Cute has eleven more sapphic sports romances. For more, browse our sapphic sports romance hub, the celebrity lesbian romance list, cozy lesbian romance, or the full Book Reviews archive.
The Bottom Line
How You Get the Girl sets out to tell a love story about a woman who has never dated and is not sure what she wants, and it succeeds with unusual grace: the questioning representation is tender and affirming, the leads are kind to each other, and Elle’s story with Vanessa adds real weight. What holds it back is a slow first half and a crowded supporting cast that can leave newcomers to the series behind. For ace-spectrum, questioning and late-blooming readers especially, it is worth it. Check How You Get the Girl on Amazon →
The Eikna Overall Ranking
On the Eikna scale, How You Get the Girl ranks as a very good, gentle sapphic sports romance — exceptional in its questioning and ace-spectrum representation and its care between the leads, held back by slow pacing and a busy cast of series regulars.
The Evidence Scorecard
Overall ★★★★☆ 4.2/5
- ✓ 4.08 average across 5,971 Goodreads ratings
- ✓ 4.15 across 3,241 StoryGraph reviews
- ✓ 4.4 stars across 581 Amazon ratings
- ✓ Slow pacing the most common complaint
Romance ★★★★☆ 4.1/5
- ✓ Dating-lessons setup readers love
- ✓ Built on patience and communication
- ✓ Idol-crush humour
- ✓ A minority felt no chemistry
Characters ★★★★☆ 4.4/5
- ✓ 95% of StoryGraph readers call them loveable
- ✓ Julie’s questioning deeply relatable
- ✓ Vanessa a standout side character
- ✓ Large cast hard to track for newcomers
Writing ★★★★☆ 4.1/5
- ✓ Warm, intimate voice
- ✓ Dual POV between Julie and Elle
- ✓ 62% of StoryGraph readers call it funny
- ✓ Slow first half
Emotional Impact ★★★★☆ 4.4/5
- ✓ 76% of StoryGraph readers call it emotional
- ✓ Many ace readers felt seen
- ✓ Depression handled without easy cures
- ✓ Heavier than the cover suggests
Heat Level ★★★☆☆ 3/5
- ✓ romance.io rates it 3 of 5
- ✓ Open-door scenes
- ✓ Sparing but described as hot
- ✓ Consent and care on the page
Ending ★★★★☆ 4/5
- ✓ Happy resolution for Julie and Elle
- ✓ Closes out the Nashville Love series
- ✓ HEA vs HFN not specified
- ✓ Series cameos throughout
Re-read Value ★★★★☆ 4/5
- ✓ Comfort read for questioning readers
- ✓ 11-hour audiobook for a second pass
- ✓ Rewards reading the whole series
- ✓ Slow start on a re-read
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